


back of a cab

by birdycurtains



Series: Wish I Were Her [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Ben Parker, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Break Up, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Unrequited Love, mentioned Pepper Potts - Freeform, mentioned Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24231583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdycurtains/pseuds/birdycurtains
Summary: “The first love gets you bad, don’t it?”Takes place after "crying on the subway."
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Series: Wish I Were Her [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747495
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	back of a cab

He misses him immediately. He would be lying if he said anything else.

He misses the lingering touches, heated stares. Being held.

Peter had been truly touch-starved before he began his relationship with Tony. He had become addicted to the feeling of skin on skin, addicted to the intimacy. 

All-in-all, he was addicted to Tony.

Hooked on the smell of his cologne, his whiskey breath, his shampoo. The smell of his sheets at four in the morning. 

He yearned to see his eyes, run his hands through his hair, feel the older man’s grip on his thighs. Kiss him. Taste him.

Now he lies in empty sheets. Awake, and grief-stricken over a dream long forgotten, but the memory of the emotion leaves a gaping hole in his chest. 

Peter feels more hollow than before.

He does nothing to stop the tears this time, letting them well up and fall. He lets out a few sobs before breaking into something akin to howls of pain.

He’s known pain like this before. 

He’s felt it in the way he held Ben, as the life left his eyes. 

Tony isn’t dead though, he’s alive and well, and has Pepper keeping his bed warm. 

Peter wishes he were so that maybe he might have an excuse as to why he feels like he’s suffered another great loss. Why he has the fits and dreams where he is rattled with loneliness and abandonment at the hand of a man he still loved.

He thinks back on a memory, after a gala, or charity event hosted by Pepper, he was in the back seat of some town car, Tony’s mouth on his. Then on his neck. 

He kissed so softly, so tenderly, like Peter could break. And he remembered the emotion bubbling up in his throat as the words spilled from his lips.

“I love you.”

Tony stopped for a second, hesitating, and Peter felt his stomach drop.

Tony returned to reality, with an almost manic determination as he buried a hand in Peter’s once perfectly styled hair and pulled him down on top of him.

Peter mistook it for reciprocation.

It was almost a dance, of Peter sharing or confessing his undying love through words or actions, and Tony gave him the illusion that any semblance of love he gave Peter was real.

Something in his chest snaps and all he wants to do is scream, but no sound manages out of his mouth and he crumbles against his mattress.

Peter flinches as he feels hands pull him from his heap on his bed. He’s buried in a warm embrace and the tightness of the grip almost has him chasing away the scent of sheetrock, but this is safe. 

He pushes his face into a neck, his hands grabbing and pulling at a t-shirt, a sound of fabric ripping through the air reverberates, but a cool metal hand on the back of his neck has him lax in seconds.

Bucky just holds Peter as the sobs rip through him.

Seconds, minutes, hours pass. 

“I’m sorry.” Peter manages to wrench out. His composure is wilting, big doe eyes glossy and ready to spill.

“‘S’all good.” His roommate murmurs, voice low and husky from sleep. 

It reminds him of Tony’s voice as he asks him to leave in the mornings.

But it’s not. This is Bucky, Bucky is safe, warm. Not quite whole, but neither is Peter.

Peter’s used to coaxing Bucky out of night terrors, and other trauma associated attacks, much like Bucky does for Peter.

He had invited Peter to live with him after Peter had gotten into a fight with the roommate he shared a dorm with his first year of college, and Peter accepted. Elated even.

He never relayed the nature of his and Tony’s relationship to Bucky, but he suspected he knew. After all, the man was always there to pick up the pieces every time Tony shattered Peter to pieces.

Peter melts into the hold Bucky has on him and inhales the scent of petrichor and pine, satiated at the absence of bergamot and sandalwood. 

_“I’m still missing  
Dancing in the back of a cab with you  
Convinced that we never had issues  
The first love gets you bad, don’t it?”_


End file.
